Denial
Anger
Bargaining
Depression
Acceptance
Where am I now? I guess I am still on stage 1. It still hasn't dawned on me that much that in two weeks, I will be leaving the place and the people I learned to love these past five years. Although some of the people I became close with have gone ahead, there are still a few good people that I am leaving behind. I may be in denial because at the back of my head, I still want to be with them, to spend days in the office, to experience the stress, to be part of the daily CVG grind.. Ironically, I was absent for a week. Yes, the whole week. A lot of things happened and the week just passed me by so quickly. I'm exhausted. So many things to do and so many thoughts in my head.
I know, nobody asked me to leave. But still, that was the best decision for me given the circumstances at work. And in my personal life. I wonder if I would be moving to the anger phase, because right now, I feel at peace. Confused and scared but at the same time peaceful. I have forgotten the anger that I used to feel months before I made the decision to leave. Maybe it came first. I don't think I would ever want to bargain though. I think this stage is also not for me. Honestly, I'm afraid to be depressed. And I could feel it coming. Well, I hope not clinically depressed.
And while I am slowly going through these stages, slowly accepting the repercussions of my decision, I am reminded of a song that talks about having to move on, just when we thought we were right "at home". See next post... :-)
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